10 Day Couple’s Challenge

Do you feel frustrated with your partner? What have you tried to improve your relationship? Are there other things you can try? In this blog, I have decided to outline steps that you can take to improve your situation. For this to have a positive impact, please do not keep score of what you are doing. It is more effective when you recognize the things that your partner is doing well. Here are a few suggestions:

• Be your partner’s friend

1. Spend quality time with each other and focus on the present

• Be kind to your partner

1. Focus on the words you use to express yourself

2. Avoid using harsh or condemning remarks

• Prioritize your partner after God

1. Value your relationship

• Accept your partner’s influence

1. Say things like “Good Point”, or “That makes sense”

• Look for the “good” in your partner and express it

1. Pay close attention to what your partner is doing well and let him/her know

• Learn to self-soothe

1. Practice self-soothing techniques towards calming yourself

2. Take a time-out

3. Engage in relaxation techniques

4. Avoid thinking about the conflict that caused an escalated argument

• Learn to Repair

1. Say, “I’m sorry” you’re right

2. Take a break

3. Stick with one topic at a time

4. Do not bring up the past

• Look inward

1. Stop pointing fingers and take an honest look at yourself

2. Why is the situation upsetting to you?

• Commit to your relationship

1. Emotionally invest in your journey for life

• Forgive past hurts

1. Give yourself permission to forgive your partner/offender for hurting you

2. Free yourself from emotional pain

As a quick recap, these are some helpful tips of what you can begin focusing on in your relationship to improve the situation and live a more happy and healthy way. Focusing on the negative aspects of your relationship will likely only worsen the situation. Take control of what you can do and stop pointing the finger at your partner. Embrace your relationship with all your might and effort.