This blog is dedicated to all of you girlfriends and wives with the goal to help you understand why your boyfriend/husband’s head turns when he sees an attractive woman in front of him. What I am about to say is NOT an excuse but to help you gain an understanding of why it happens. Now, let me begin by saying that as a woman, I have always wondered why most men are drawn to look at other women. To be honest, I could not figure it out until I finished reading the chapter titled “Keeper of the Photo Files” in Shaunti Feldhahn’s book “For Women Only”. I found it to be insightful and would like to share my findings.
The first point is to help all women out there know that men are visual! What does that exactly mean? What I am about to say applies to most faithful husbands and boyfriends which is based on extensive research, interviews, and surveys completed by Shaunti Feldhahn. Feldhahn reports “the unique wiring of the male brain creates an instinctive pull to visually consume the image of an attractive woman-and these images can be just as alluring whether they are live or recollected”. It was also identified that some women’s brain is wired similarly, therefore may not find this information alarming.
Feldhahn explains that “a man’s brain structure and chemical mix wire him to be extremely visually oriented”. She further identifies that “a small center of the brain called the nucleus accumbens resides in the back of the brain…the area that controls stuff you don’t consciously think about like digestion and breathing”. Just think of what happens when a man walks into a room full of delicious food. He is automatically drawn towards the assortment of food items presented in front of him, but then when his ability to exercise will power kicks in, he will slowly walk away from the buffet table and think about other things.
The key points to remember is that your man’s brain is wired in such a way that he is automatically drawn to look at appealing photos or an attractive woman who walks by. Although temptation itself is not a sin, the decision to act on that temptation is a sin. If you find your man’s eyes wandering, you may politely let him know that your insecurities have been heightened and may need some reassurance from him. Your thoughts may be drawn to question your self-worth or external appearance. Remember, it is not you that has led his eyes to stray away, it is his wired brain!!