What is more important to you…being right or being happy? Of course, it feels GREAT when our partner says, “You’re right honey”. However, that’s not always going to happen. This is where I come in to tell you how to accept influence from your partner. To accept influence is to acknowledge that your partner has a valid point on the subject or topic being discussed. For example, let’s say that you guys are discussing a political issue, and although you may have a different perspective, you lean in and acknowledge that your partner’s perspective makes sense as well. To accept influence does not mean that you are not entitled to your own opinion; on the contrary, it’s a way to let your partner know that he/she may also have a valid point. Accepting influence is NOT about giving away power, yet it’s designed to help couples learn how to make each other’s opinion count during a conversation. It’s the best way to acquire respect, power, understanding and influence. The bottom line is to avoid making it about winning and focus more on the give and take process. Accepting influence is the best way to approach problems with a win-win mentality.
I’ve provided a list of what it may sound like to NOT accept influence:
That’s not a beautiful car, it’s so ugly
You have no idea what you’re talking about; that doesn’t make sense at all!
Sightseeing is NOT a vacation unless there’s a beach scenery
Effective ways to accept influence:
Yes, that is a nice-looking car
I can see your point of view and why you may see it that way
Although hanging out at the beach would be nice, sightseeing might be fun too
Accepting influence is a great way to avoid unnecessary arguments that can become escalated. It’s important to share your opinion with your partner, but just make sure that his/her opinion is heard, understood, and validated.