Updated: Jul 27
I have been an advocate to helping couples strengthen their current relationship before they say, "I do". If there are "red" flags during the engagement period, problems most likely will escalate after the wedding day.
Research studies indicate that the moment a couple becomes engaged to be married, their main focus becomes about planning their wedding. This happened to me too, so don't worry, you're not alone.
Every bride dreams of the day that she can be portrayed as "Cinderella" and showcase her beautiful wedding dress. Don't get me wrong, this is normal, and every bride should get excited about her wedding day. However, too many couples focus on planning that special day and do not take time to discuss vital key subject matters about their future as husband and wife.
I counsel many couples presenting with various conflicts that they wish would have been discussed before marriage. Subject matters such as managing stress with extended family members, finances, effective communication, and most importantly, how to express love to one another...identify each other's love languages and learning how to speak them.
Engaged couples that seek counseling prior to marriage tend to have a stronger, healthier, and long-lasting relationship.
It's simple to get wrapped up on your wedding day, but please take the time to invest in premarital counseling from a professional or your pastor to ensure a "FOREVER" status on your marriage. I can't stress it enough of how important counseling can be in helping your relationship grow and feel emotionally connected to your partner. There is a myriad of life stressors that are likely to challenge your marital bond, hence counseling can help couples obtain coping skills and tools to help them manage through these difficult times.
Example of Life Stressor
When a couple decides to start a family and bring home their first bundle of joy, the family dynamics have changed. It is important to remember NOT to lose focus on your marital relationship. Both parties must nourish it to keep it from dying. Think of what you do to a plant to keep it alive...you must water it and provide sunlight to help it flourish. Utilizing this analogy help couples gain insight of why relationships become distant or strained.