Ghosting Your Relationships

Many of you may have heard the terminology “ghosting”. However, for those who are unfamiliar with the word, it is important to define it in the context of a relationship. Ghosting is a way of ending a relationship with someone by stopping communication without any explanation. There are situations where ghosting is seen as a healthy way to end a relationship – an abusive relationship or fear for your or others safety. If your friend, partner, colleague, employer, family member is threatening, manipulative, or exercises abusive behaviors, it is acceptable to ghost this individual. I will discuss what it may feel like when you are the one being ghosted and sample responses you can use when you have verified you are being ghosted.

Imagine a time when you experienced reaching out to someone and they do not respond to your phone call, text, email, etc. how did you feel? What were some of your questions that popped into your head? You may ask yourself, ‘What’s wrong with me?’ or ‘What’s wrong with him/her’? Typically, individuals may question what they did to this person for them to act this way. You may end up in this vicious cycle questioning your character, actions, or past communication with this person. Remember, it is much easier to ghost someone in the social media and on-line world to hide behind a screen and not have to interact with that person face-to-face. It’s an easier way to just disappear! No matter how difficult it is to break up with someone, everyone deserves to know why so they can individually grow and learn from mistakes. How would you feel left wondering ‘What happened, I thought everything was going well?’

What are different ways to respond to someone that ghosted you?

• I realize that we’ve both been busy, but please do not ghost me. If we are over, I would like to know why?

• I really don’t want to figure out why I haven’t heard from you so please provide me with an explanation.

• You seem different lately, am I reading too much into this or am I being ghosted?

• You haven’t responded lately, so I am going to assume that we are not seeing each other unless you can explain otherwise.

• Being ghosted is the worst way to end a relationship, so I would rather know what is happening.

Make sure not to jump to quick negative conclusions when you do not receive an immediate response from your partner. Always assume the best from him/her until you can verify that you have been ghosted. Jumping to conclusions may cause a negative long-term affect in your relationship so be careful and give your partner time to respond. There may be a chance that you may not get a response back after you use one of the samples provided above. When that happens, it’s best to leave the relationship and focus on self-care. Recognize your self-worth and remember that you are a good person and did not deserve this type of treatment. Take care of yourself and surround yourself with your support system.