How to Make Adult Friends
Updated: Jul 27
As human development continues and we progress in our lives, we tend to become more independent and feel a sense of freedom. This feeling begins when transitioning into a young adult, moving out of our childhood home, and pursuing the career of our choice along as well as partner of our choice. We tend to think that making friends will simply get easier as we have created a strong sense of self-identity and discovered most of our passions at this point in our life. However, we fail to realize that although we have more freedom, we also have less structure in the way in which we meet new people. As a young child we are placed in schools and forced to make friends in order to create a network of people that support and love us, but in the adult life there is often a barrier between co-worker and friend. This blog aims to support those who need assistance in feeling loved and accepted by others, to a point which that person can be called a friend.
Below are different pointers which will help you focus on certain factors that may increase likelihood of meeting new people that can become potential friends.
1. Proximity
a. How close you live to another person will increase the chance of a longer and more intimate friendship, as it will be easier to access and spend time with each other.
2. Repetition
a. This involves seeing the person repeatedly, which means a conscious effort from both parties to reach out with invitations to meet up. This creates trust, familiarity, and enjoyment as you begin to understand each other’s behaviors.
3. Similarity
a. This one is a bit easier to understand, as those who are more like you are more likely to be your friend. Try to meet people at places you enjoy going! A local dog park, work, or religious events are good places to start.
The next list of pointers will help you find and keep important people in your life who want to support and care for you:
- Value
a. Know your own values and passions, as they are something that are meaningful to you and ideally something you would like to share with your friends. Think about how you acquired these values or where you inherited them and try to find people who also find themselves in these places.
- Connect
b. This relates to being friendly, approachable, and outgoing to reach out to new people. This may involve small talk which can then lead into genuine conversations or curious questions.
- Diversity
c. Ensure that you and your new friend hangout or participate in areas or events other than the spot of origin. It’s great if you met your new friend at the dog park, but instead of only talking to them there, invite them out to grab a cup of coffee! This will spark new positive memories and encourage them to reach out to meet again.
- Be the friend you want
d. Lastly, we all want friends that check up on us, support us, and laugh with us…so make sure to do that towards your friends as well! The only way a true friendship bond will be created and last is by both parties actively engaging.
