As life around is constantly changing, I thought it could be beneficial to blog about online dating as it has become more and more prevalent of how relationships today begin. Dating is very different than it was during my time and as I continue to evolve with our changing times, it has become apparent that many more couples are finding each other on various dating apps. However, many of my clients have indicated that online dating can be very frustrating, tedious, and sometimes pointless. Why are some people successful using online dating while others give up altogether with the process. Recent research studies found that it may be the mindset with which individual begin their online dating journey.
Over a thousand online daters were surveyed and it was determined that there were two types of online daters: Promotion-focused and prevention-focused individuals. Promotion-focused individuals are those who think about what they may gain while prevention-focused are those who are preoccupied with what they stand to lose by choosing the wrong partner. Researchers found that the more promotion-focused people were, the easier and more engaging the online dating process. They also felt more successful in their endeavors. Their mindset likely allowed them to spend more time swiping focusing on the positive outcome of their experience.
For those who are primarily prevention-focused, it appears that too much time and emphasis is made on who may not be the right fit and coming up with excuses (he/she is not tall/short enough, too skinny/fat, not religious, hobbies differ, and is not active/too active etc). With this type of mind-set, it is of no surprise why they become overly frustrated and ultimately give up on the process. To make this experience more appealing, it is imperative to take a step back and re-assess your goals and possibly adjust your expectations.
Since online dating requires a degree of investment and effort, an individual’s mindset could have a significant impact on their overall outcome. Viewing each profile as a potential partner, rather than dealbreakers, could make a different between giving up on love and finding it.
While working with hundreds of couples, it appears that love CAN be found through the online dating process with much long-lasting success. Of course, there are traditional ways to meet your forever partner (through a mutual friend, family, church, events, volunteering, school, work, etc). It is a benefit that online dating is available, however always consider what you are hoping to gain from this process.