Your marriage will go through various stages as you grow and experience things together. At times, it may feel that your marriage is placed on the back burner while focusing on other things that may appear more important. How many times do you find yourself hyper-focused and consumed of other things such as your job, children, finances, extended family members, health, service, etc.? Don’t worry, you are not alone, this happens to probably most if not all marriages. However, as it is written in Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh”, it is clear that as you agree to marriage, you must put your spouse after your relationship with God.
There have been numerous times when couples are asked, what are your priorities in life, that their spouse is listed towards the bottom. This is the number one reason that couples experience distress and in turn loveless relationships. It is imperative that once you decide to get married, your priorities in life must be shifted. Always place your relationship and spiritual life first and your spouse comes next. Even when you transition into parenthood, be careful to shift all of your focus on your child(ren). It is easy for this to happen, therefore take time to reflect on your life and identify how much time is spent on nurturing your marriage versus your children. There is no doubt that young children need your attention, but so does your spouse. Make time to spend quality time with your spouse (without the children) at least once a week. Be creative with how you want to spend your date time without it breaking your financial bank. Take turns to schedule date days/nights and look forward to that time alone.
Here are some simple ways to show your spouse that they are important in your life:
Be kind to your spouse
Be a friend to your spouse
Accept their influence as you value your own opinions
Look for the good in your spouse and speak it
Express appreciation daily
Assume the best from your spouse
Ask God to present your best self in front of your spouse
Meet your spouse’s emotional needs while putting yours aside
Express verbal and non-verbal affection
Special notes or texts
Make your spouse breakfast in bed
Cook a special meal that you both can share after children are in bed
Whisper in your partner’s ears something that they can look forward to
Prioritizing your marital relationship will bring your days, weeks, months, and years of joy and happiness. Your marriage will not make you happy, but you can make your marriage happy with your positive intentions.