Transitioning from Me to We

Using the pronoun “we or us” reflects a view of yourselves as part of a team. This perspective also appears to help couples in times of challenges or conflicts. Research studies suggest that using the plural pronoun reports greater marital satisfaction than those who use the singular ‘I or you’ more often. Other research has found that using plural pronouns indicates higher-quality interactions and more positive problem-solving outcomes.

It is important to take a minute here and think about your own relationship and what does it means to you when you hear your partner refer to your unity as ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ or vice versa. Here are some scenarios:

Singular Pronoun:

Male partner: I can’t wait until I go on vacation

Female partner: Hello, we are going on vacation

Male partner: yes, yes, that’s what I meant

Female partner: (rolls her eyes) that’s what he always does, it drives me crazy

Plural Pronoun:

Male partner: We are looking forward to spending time together on our upcoming vacation (grinning from ear to ear)

Female partner: Yes, it’s been a while since we’ve spent time together and we are so excited (giggles)

Reflection:

A singular pronoun indicates that the vacation is for him to experience, however using the plural pronoun, she feels connected and seen.

Genesis 2:24 - Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

1 Corinthians 16:14 ~ Let all that you do be done in love.

1 John 4:7-8 ~ Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.