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Transparency in Marriage

I am sure you have heard this quite often about the importance of transparency within a marital relationship. It is one of the most vital pillars that establishes all relationships, especially for the long-term success of marital relationships. Right now, you are most likely reflecting about your own relationship and are thinking “I’m an open book…my partner knows everything about me”. If that is the case, good for you! However, I believe that most of us struggle with transparency in fear of receiving a negative reaction, shame, and/or guilt.

In a nutshell, marriage has no room for secrecy. God created you for one person to share your love and life with and to be completely emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally vulnerable. Transparency in marriage also improves intimacy.

Complete transparency began with Adam and Eve when their eyes were opened to their nakedness in which at that time they were completely exposed and vulnerable to one another. This was complete transparency in its original form. However, we live in a society where having transparency in a relationship is often mocked and ridiculed.

Here are several ways to be transparent with your partner:

  • Priority to Your Spouse – before sharing news with others, make sure to tell your spouse first. He/she deserves to be the first to know anything about what is happening in your life.

  • Talk about Everything-share all details of your life with your spouse. Make it a regular practice to talk about every aspect of your lives together (i.e., communication, finances, money, children, in-laws, etc.)

  • Share all accounts – as a married couple, there should be no question about having full access to each other’s phones, social media accounts, and passwords. On social media platforms, make sure to identify your marital status.

  • Mutual Understanding – Come to an agreement with your spouse to establish a No Secrets policy in your relationship. Agree to share everything from the very start of your marriage!

  • Let your guard down – Allow your partner to know you personally, closely, and intimately in such a way that no other human being alive can know you. Allow your spouse to see your genuine self. This may lead to disagreements, hurts, and need for regular forgiveness. It is ok because your vulnerable self will demonstrate that you are imperfect but will experience perfect love.




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