IPrior to reading the book “For Women Only” written by Shaunti Feldhahn, I would have thought the answer to that question would have been of course “Sex”. However, after extensive research and interviewing thousands of men, the answer is that they need to feel adequate and respected. These are things that although men have a strong desire for, it is challenging for them to express it to their wives/significant other. Therefore, I am hoping that this blog can help all women (girlfriends, partners, and wives) gain a deeper understanding of how to respect and tell them that they are adequate. In Feldhahn’s book, she goes into great detail describing how men responded to her survey questions and her findings that led her to describe what men want. I will be depicting just a few things that will get us women on track with our men to help them feel respected and important.
There are many ways to show your man that you respect him…trust, affirmation, and publicly inflate him. I will provide a brief example of each way to respect your man.
Trust: If your husband/boyfriend/partner is driving and indicates that he’s not sure how to get to your destination, but he thinks he can figure it out…instead of saying “Why don’t you just put it in the navigation to make sure we get there”, it would be better to show him that you trust that he can get you there by saying “I’m sure you can figure it out”.
Affirmation: Most men are looking to be affirmed by their female partner in a way that makes them feel that they are enough. Make sure to let your man know that you are proud of him, even if he does not clean the house the way you want it done. It is more important for him to hear your approval then to have it done your way.
Publicly Inflate Him: How many times do we joke about our man in front of our friends? I know that I am guilty of it. Even though we think it is okay because we are laughing about it, this is devastating to men. If your male partner tried to fix your dishwasher, but was not successful, instead of telling your friends “I can’t believe that he tried to fix our dishwasher, he just ends up making things worse”, it would be better to say something like “My husband did his best to try to fix our dishwasher, even though it’s still broken, the fact that he tried made me so proud of him”.
As a recap to this blog, it is especially important to respect and express how proud we are of our men! They need us to do this! Stay tuned for my next blog…” What Women Want”