In last week’s blog, I wrote about what the majority of men want…as a recap it basically came down to needing respect and feeling adequate by their wives/significant other. This week, I will be focusing on what women want. In the book, “For Men Only” Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn touch upon several interesting and beneficial aspects that I’d like to address in today’s blog. I will be discussing women’s emotions and listening.
The importance of understanding how a woman’s brain processes information is very simple. In summary, Feldhahn best describes a woman’s brain as having “involuntary emotional pop-ups” that tend to bring these up from the present as well as the past. She further explains that “women often can’t compartmentalize and just decide not to think about something that is bother them”. For you men out there who are reading my blog, please understand that when your wife/significant other is jumping from topic to topic and talks about something that was hurtful from the past, it’s nothing that YOU can control or change. Therefore, it easier to just understand when it happens and it’s cause is based on a women’s brain structure.
· Solution: the worst thing you can say to her is “Just don’t think about it”. Encourage her to take whatever action is necessary to help her close those ‘windows’
What is the number one action taken by men when their women complain to them about a problem? That’s right…FIX the problem! However, is that what women want when expressing their emotions about something that has been distressing? NO! What do you do anyway when she tells you that she doesn’t want you to fix it. Then what does she want you to do! Here you are thinking that you’re helping her find a solution to her problem and she shoots you down! Then what is it that she wants you to do? Great question
· Solution: just listen to her feelings about the problem and validate what she is emotionally experiencing. Listening is FIXING the problem!
In a separate blog, I will be addressing how women view sex and ways to increase her sexual desires!